I sat down this morning to get some of the stuff on my mind off of my mind, in the past writing has seemed to help with that so I thought I would give it a shot again. I am not a writer but seem to got some relief out of writing out the tough stuff. As I sat down and was thinking that through, I thought maybe I should go look and see where this all began.
I was trying to frame our situation in some of our life experiences up that that point. Here is an excerpt from that second blog that ties into today.
All of this brings us to today and our latest chapter of life. On Tuesday September 30th, 2008 (our 13th Anniversary), my wife went to the Dr to find out about a pain in her abdomen. The Dr ordered an ultrasound and she was then sent to the ER for a CAT scan. This is where I found her, in the ER waiting for the results of the scan. The ER Dr came in and told us that she had a huge tumor and that they were going to admit her. Surgery was scheduled for the following Wed. She spent that entire week in the Hospital trying to get the pain under control and prepping for the surgery. They removed the Tumor on October 8th and we waited quite nervously for the biopsy results. They were returned the next Monday. We were told that the tumor was a Stage II Adrenal Carcinoma and all the dreary news that comes along with that.That is where we are today. My wife is home healing from the surgery and we are waiting for our appointment with MD Anderson in Houston to find out what our treatment options are.
It is interesting, as I wrote all of this out the thought that kept running through my head was that I didn’t want anyone to think I was looking for sympathy. I don’t know if that is what you were thinking or not, but just to be sure, as crazy as all that history sounds, I wouldn’t trade any of it for one second. That chaos is what made us what we are today. I really believe that without all of that “practice” we wouldn’t be ready for what we are dealing with today. We have been blessed with incredible families and friends that have kept us from completely loosing it and a God that has continued to get us through it all.
As I sat this morning and read this I smiled a little because in my mind i was about to write the same thing almost 7 years later.
After going to visit the doctor on Monday for abdominal pain, Triann was sent for ultrasound on Tuesday and was told she had a “grapefruit sized” mass in her pelvic area. This word got our attention since it was the exact way the described her adrenal tumor 7 years ago. Further tests were scheduled but we ended up going into the ER over the weekend as Triann was experiencing shortness of breath and pain constantly. In the ER the doctors ordered the imaging to be completed on site. When the results came back the doc explained that the mass appeared to be malignant and that we would need to follow up with her primary doctor to make a plan.
A little different than last time, but an eerily similar experience.
I keep waiting for the panic to set in, for the what ifs and what thens to overtake my brain and crush my spirit. But it isn’t happening. Triann and I are calmly walking through each step. There are tighter squeezes on the hands at times, but then the grip relaxes and we just enjoy each other and that moment.
Not sure where any of this is going, the tumor, the writing our lives, but I know that I don’t need to know. I have experience and history to show me that our life has prepared us for this. Our God has walked us through the trials that we have experienced and we have actual proof that we can get through them.
Eric
Dear Eric, our life is also strict to us sometimes. I studied at Oklahoma University and, you know, my professor told me to be brave no matter what may happen. I've been brave for the whole life. I'm trying to keep my emotions inside and it helps.
Life always has some lessons for us but it depends on the person whether he/she takes it seriously or not. Do read my blog as well on:
hiraghaffar.blogspot.com/the edifice
Regards.