Triann left yesterday for a girls weekend in Virginia Beach with her good friend Andrea Silbernagel. Andrea called Triann a few months ago and said she had a ticket and wanted to know if she should come out here or if Triann would like to go out there. Triann posed the question to me and I told her to get the heck out of town. Can you believe that this is the first time she has ever done anything like this? We were talking before she left and I am convinced this is the first time since the kids that she has gone anywhere by herself. Certainly it is the first time she has taken off somewhere just for fun.

For those of you who know my wife well, you know that she didn’t want to do this. She takes her role as Mom seriously and felt that she should not leave us alone, at least not to do something fun. Does anyone else know someone like this? I know it’s not what she intends but it makes me feel like a crumb. I don’t know how long I would debate if the same opportunity came my way. I don’t think it comes down to a comparison of how much either of us loves our family, but rather a level of responsibility.

I don’t think that I am a “complete” slacker, but I know I am pretty close. Triann goes all the way to the other end of the spectrum, where she doesn’t feel right doing things for herself. I can say that both of us have gotten better over the years, and this is part of what attracted us to each other in the first place. She was pulled in by my happy go lucky attitude, and I was drawn to her organized planed out style. Funny how the things that draw you are the things that drive you nuts down the road.

I think all of this is more bothersome to me now in light of these last few months. I wish I could get her to relax more and just enjoy life. Not feel guilty about a cup of coffee every few months, or trusting that God has things under control (I think he has proved that to us perfectly clearly). On the other hand, it would probably be easier for her to relax if she knew that I was there to pick up the slack. The bills have to be paid, the kids have to be fed and clothed and the house has to be cleaned. If I did a better job of all of that she might feel that she could relax.

I heard in a sermon once that a common misconception is that marriage is a 50/50 thing. He said that was bunk, that means you are only putting a half effort into it. He said a marriage should be 100/100. I know we are both working on getting there.

I know she is worried that something will happen while she is gone. Mainly she worries that I will lose Daniel. All because of that one Lowes incident (do you have any idea how many hiding places there are in the kitchen sample area of a home improvement warehouse).

She probably won’t read this before she gets back, but just so you know I’m on it. It is a lot of work keeping house and caring for the kids, and it wears me out, but I love being able to do it so she can go and get some much needed rest and relaxation.

Love you babe!

E