Last night – Thanksgiving #3 – the family tradition was to go around the table and say what we are thankful for. Unfortunately, I was last. Why I didn’t volunteer to go first? The same reason I was such a mess going last. Fear! I have SO much to be thankful for this year. Numerous scenarios in my life playing through my head of blessings in my life, but to say them out loud? Not my forte. Now, I was in debate club and I can speak on a given topic and argue with the best of them, but to share my heart – Something personal – too much to ask. I pondered most of the night why I can’t get what is in my heart and head to come out of my mouth. Fear, yes. But fear of what? I think it boils down to being vulnerable. Putting myself in a position of ‘risk’. As I think of this, I have no idea where that insecurity stems from. I can’t even pray out loud! I know that, on some level,is related. Guess it is now on my list to work on. Because I really need another thing to work on =)
The written word I can do. I was big into journaling growing up and blogging is just a grown up (public) journal, right?

SO here is my I am thankful for list, that I completely botched last night. (Apparently I also have an issue with the need to redeem myself)

I am Thankful for my health. As crazy as that may sound, it could be SO much worse. I am thankful that Daniel jumped on me and the doctors found the tumor when they did.I am thankful to the many wonderful doctors I have, Eric has ,and Emily has. I am thankful that Eric was finally diagnosed and is now on a treatment that is giving him his life back. I am thankful for the school Emily attends and the amazing people who care for her there. I am thankful for the many friends and family that have jumped in and have sacrificed to help my family in this crazy, uncertain time.

I am thankful to have friends that feel like family to spend the holiday with when our family is so far away. I am thankful for a place Eric and I can go to be refreshed and the kiddos to ‘run wild’. I am thankful that Daniel can experience a variety of new things and that Emily has a wonderful friend to share and play with. I am thankful that Eric and I can experience new things, have new wonderful friends to play with, and can – occasionally – ‘run wild’ too.

I am thankful for just about anything involving chocolate. I am thankful for our house and our vehicle and our freedom. I am thankful for my friends who encourage and support me no matter what – they are truly the hands and feet Jesus.

I am thankful for my beautiful children. The joy they bring to my life, the lessons they teach me, and their capability for unconditional love.
I am thankful for my incredible husband of 13 years. I could not go through this life without him, and God knew that. I am thankful for his sense of humor, his random knowledge of all things, his ability to relax, his love for the Lord and his desire to continue to grow in his relationship with Christ and always striving to be a better husband and a better dad. He is an inspiration to me.

Now I am about to cry and I don’t do that well either – especially not in front of others.

I am thankful for the prayers of those we know and those we don’t. I am thankful for another day here on earth. With my family. With my friends.

I am thankful my family will be here for Christmas.
I am thankful it is eggnog season – because it brings my husband joy! =)

I am thankful for so many things I could never list them all. But I do feel better having an opportunity to ‘say’ what is on my heart, even when I can’t speak.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Triann